Tag: new year

I wasn’t going to do a new year’s post this year, mostly because I’m very lazy, but also because I tend to find it a little cliché. It turns out I don’t have anything against being cliché, so here is my new year’s post anyhow!

I post (both here and on Instagram) about a lot of the really cool things I have had the opportunity to do. Inevitably, it paints a picture that I am having fun and in pretty places all the time. So here is a quick list at some of the more embarrassing and downright dumb things I pulled in 2018, accompanied by some of my favorite photos from the year.

I got caught in literal Quicksand

I’ve got a long list of things that I worry about hiking alone—you know, bears, twisting an ankle, snakes, being thrown into the back of some dude’s van and ending up a cold case. The usual. I thought quicksand was a thing of complete fiction, stuck only in Indiana Jones and John Mulaney bits.

Turns out, no. There’s this pretty little spot where Otter Creek runs into Lake Michigan, and if the wind is blowing just right, and you’re too busy eating a sandwich while walking to pay attention, you too might stumble into some quicksand and sink up past your knees, frantically waving your sandwich over your head, because if you survive this you’ll still be hungry, and then inch worm out, now cold and damp. My sandwich made it out unscathed, and I had a damp picnic lunch wondering if anyone would ever believe I got caught in quicksand.

(Two of my favorite kayaking photos, August 2018, Apostle Islands National Lakeshore)

Ran for another flight

Last year my sisters and I went careening through the Salt Lake City airport, this time it was Atlanta, and I ended up with Chaco blisters. Again, we made the flight, but not gracefully.

Got asked if we were “experienced snowshoers” and decided sure, why not

How much experience is required for one to be an experienced snowshoe-r? Isn’t it just hiking, but colder? We’ve been snoeshoewing like, in our lifetimes, so that feels experienced, right?

I got Mono and it was lame

I’m not sure what I did to have the world decide that I deserved to spend my last semester of college sick in bed, but it was lame. Shout out my mother, for putting up with me.

I hiked through a hailstorm

I thought it would be fun to go for a hike on my day off. Did not check the radar. Cue quarter sized hail and standing too close to a river/ flash flood zone. Living large my friends.

I capsized a kayak in flat calm water by accident

Listen, everybody capsizes their kayaks, especially starting out, or just having fun. On a beautiful day this July, as a guideon a kayak trip, I flipped and took a swim in the drink. I’m not really sure howper se, but it was near the wreck of the Fedora, and while I know nobody died on that shipwreck, I’m still going to say it was a ghost. I would like to emphasize that it was flat calm, and I was in a pretty stable boat. I have no idea why I flipped.

I got to spend the rest of the trip pink faced and damp. Which, coincidently, is sort of the natural state of being for anyone who kayaks.

I puked in a pit toilet on Sand Island

And like, hung out there for a little while on the floor. A very dignified place to be.

View this post on Instagram

I’ve been up to shoot about two sunrises this year. Two out of 365. This is one of them. The other sunrise was on Sand Island in Wisconsin, at about 5:30 am, and the only reason I had been up at all was because I’d spent the night running the quarter mile back and forth between my tent and the pit toilet to puke because, like the badass I am, I ate three (yes three) rolls of brie cheese. Now. Sand Island is full of bugs— mosquitos, blackflies, you name it. So I’m in full bug-gear wearing a big net, running through the woods in the dark (who knows where my headlamp is) and I’m running to the pit toilet rather than puking in the woods because of the bears. You see, I was pretty sure if I puked near our campsite, I would attract some island bears and have a whole new problem. So back and forth to the pit toilet (quarter mile) all clammy and feverish and swarmed by flies and finally I feel better enough to sit. I pop a squat at a bluff at the edge of the lake, shivering and sipping at some water. Eventually the birds start to sing and the lake is completely still and a little bit of wildfire smoke from the boundary waters to the north lingers over the water and the sun rises, big and bright red. And this is one of my favorite memories from 2018. It’s no secret that Instagram is a total highlight reel, but not every highlight feels like a highlight at first. Happy new year everyone 💗 I hope your year is filled with all kinds of highlights.

A post shared by Maddy Marquardt (@maddymarq) on Dec 30, 2018 at 3:16pm PST

Read post (above) for the dramatized version with a sparkly new year’s message at the end.

All in all, I had a nice year, and I hope you did too. Wishing you the a quicksandless 2019!

(This is my favorite photo that I took this year. May, 2018, with the best model any big sister could ask for.)